Hey mom! Did you know that on the day you were born The Helen Hayes Theater, on CBS radio, was called the first casualty of World War II? Lipton Tea dropped sponsorship of the program as it prepared for shortages in tea imports from India.
What does that have to do with you?
EVERYTHING!
Grandma Gertie told me that Ms. Hayes immediately started looking for work as a nanny far away from the footlights of Broadway. She decided to start her new life in the middle of the country; Central Illinois to be exact. She called the local hospitals and discovered that you had just been born. She immediately hopped on a train and showed up on Grandma’s doorstep with her entourage in tow. Grandma had no choice but to accept her offer to help raise you for the tidy sum of 38 cents per day.
After a week Helen Hayes realized that you were an absolute monster and decided that you were a baby only a mother could love. She fled your birth home to return to New York. In her haste she abandoned her man servant, Giles. Giles did not have the means to buy a ticket back east. He was forced to work for Grandma for 40 cents a day (Grandma liked Giles more than Helen Hayes) until he earned enough for a ticket home.
It took two years for Giles to earn the money he needed. In that time, the abandoned man servant grew to love you and your family. Unfortunately Giles was very clumsy and dropped you several times while attempting to care for you. Grandma Gertie didn’t have the heart to fire him so she continued to let him handle you. In that time, Giles dropped you 37 times.
Mainly you fell on your head.
And now we all know what the cancellation of The Helen Hayes Theater has to do with you!
Note to the person helping Marcia with the big words in this post:
Please give Marcia a huge hug and wish her happy birthday from us. Then speak very slowly and let her know how much her family loves her. Thanks. . .
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