No Time for Canada

Honey, I'm home.

I was up at 3:00 a.m. mountain time because when I tried to convince the alarm clock in my hotel room to wake me at 4:30 a.m. I also managed to move myself two hours into the future. So I woke up and the clock told me it was 5:36 and I need to be in the lobby by 5:30.

I flew around the hotel room trying to gather my possesions and stuff them into my suitcase. I brushed my teeth and tried to tame my hair a little so I wouldn't have trouble getting a cab driver to let me in his car.

I looked at the clock again, 5:40. Paul should have called me by now to see why I'm not downstairs. Shit! He's late too. I call Paul's room. "Paul, we're late. We were supposed to be downstairs at 5:30," I yelled.

Paul says, "My clock says it's 3:45."

You can guess the rest. But I'm home now and I'm trying to get things in order. Instead of a nap before I pick up the girls at 4:30 I made a quick vet appointment for Pig to have her anal glands expressed. I unpacked with the intention of starting some laundry. Now I need to pick up the living room and while I did that I remember I wanted to change out Julia's car seat. That brought me downstairs and I decided to check email. Now I'm typing here. Only someone spilled something on the goddamn keyboard and it feels like I'm typing in slow motion.

3:26. I've gotta go.