C is for Cookie$

It’s Girl Scout Cookie season again. This year, if we don’t make our quota (250 boxes), the troop has asked all the families to write a check to make up for the cookies they are unable to sell.

I was at the meeting when they unveiled the new rule. I told them that as long as there were no negative consequences for any scout who refused to write a check I was fine with it. After all, if there are repercussions their plan is tantamount to extortion. I don’t think there’s a badge the girls can earn for extortion. If there is, I’d like to see the design. Maybe I could submit some ideas for the Pyramid Scheme and Racketeering badges, too. 

The more I think about this cash compensation requirement the more resentful I get. I know the Troop Leaders put in a lot of time and effort coordinating these sales. I know the desire to build up the Troop’s coffers comes from a good place. Providing an excellent experience for all the girls can get expensive and I’m sure there’s pressure brought to bear from the Council. But I’m still not on board.

I’ll admit there’s more we could probably do to try to get people to buy cookies. But it’s not as if we don’t try at all. We put the word out in social media, we annoy our relatives and colleagues. We warehouse our 250 boxes of cookies in our kitchens, dining rooms or wherever they’ll fit. We stand outside in -5 degree windchill trying to get people to buy Thin Mints and Thanks Alots (which was really dumb, by the way – holy shit).

It’s not as much as the Troop Leaders do but I maintain that it is enough. Mandating compensation not only pushes boundaries, it alienates. Or maybe it’s just me. Regardless, I won’t be writing a check if we don’t sell all 250 boxes that are sitting in our dining room right now.

In other news:

Julia showed me the cat-collecting app, Neko Atsume a few weeks ago. It’s basically a Tamagotchi for animated cats. You leave food and toys in your yard and cats come visit. In return, they leave you fish, allowing you to buy more toys and cushions and empty boxes and buckets and heaters and whatever you need to attract more cats.

I’m not clear on the goal. Julia has amassed a number of yard extensions and has redecorated her spaces several times. After two weeks I’m still on my first yard. I’m desperately trying to earn enough gold fish to expand it. I check it constantly. I buy the expensive food to attract more cats and get them to like me enough to leave me the fish necessary to achieve the elusive (for me, at least) yard expansion.

Julia tells me that I don’t need to buy the pricey food. Just keep feeding them the basic, unlimited and free “Thrifty Bits”. The sashimi that I provided was probably welcome, but these are animated cats and Julia has assured me that they will settle. There’s no denying her success so I’ll stick with the cheap stuff for the time being.

I pay more attention to this app than our real cats.