That’s no exaggeration. It’s -15 (-26 Celsius) with a wind chill of -30 and all the schools were closed today. Allie was happy that she was going to have a day without math. Her mom asked her what Sunday was and Allie said, “I want a weekday without math.” I get the distinction. I really do. It’s just that I’d really like it if she fell in love with numbers. I’m not going to hold my breath.
She had a good birthday. It was very kind of her grandma, grandpa and auntie to brave the frigid temperatures to come to the party. They were in a big hurry to leave. I’d like to think it was a mix of wanting to get home in plenty of time to prepare for the following day’s Super Bowl festivities plus a need to get home during daylight hours in the intense freeze. I suspect it was more a matter of my in-laws wanting to escape prolonged exposure to me. I get the impression they believe I will physically harm them. And while I am, at times, intensely snippy (particularly when it comes to preparing food) and I do raise my voice quite a bit; I would never kill any of them in their sleep. Admittedly I work hard to frighten my family and put them on edge but I’m equally attentive about putting some effort toward the comfort thing as well.
Did I mention how I am while cooking? I am a beast when I’m cooking. It’s true. I’m sure it stems for watching too many episodes of “Chef”. But I don’t like people in the kitchen when I’m at work. If I had to provide an explanation I might tell you that:
1) I’m an insecure cook. The most that can be said of my cooking is that I’m willing to experiment and occasionally I get lucky. The truth is everything I make just seems to come out a little off. Honestly, even when I stick to the recipes something seems to go awry. My aim is for that first fork full of whatever to be so good that you will lose consciousness. If you eat food at my house and you don’t fall out of your chair, slam your head into the table and then slam it again as you slide to the floor then it has been an unsuccessful meal. So far I’ve never produced a successful meal. You might pass out on the toilet afterwards, but you’ll probably have a firm grasp on your faculties while you’re eating.
2) I have an intense fear of burning or cutting people in the kitchen. I don’t know why but I’m convinced that if you are within ten feet of me when I’m in the kitchen I will accidentally throw hot grease into your eyes while causing all unsecured cutlery to fly directly into your vital organs.
From the sound of it, you’d think that I hated cooking but I do really like to cook. I’m just a prick when I’m doing it for more than three people.
All that aside, I really do enjoy it when our family comes to stay with us. Sometimes these visits just seem to gel and we wind up making some really wonderful memories. Like the time I launched a water balloon with a giant slingshot directly into Deb’s neck at approximately 50 MPH and then got mad at her for not being able to shake off the pain in a reasonable amount of time.
Okay. That’s not a good example. But I do have anecdotes about people who have had a good time while staying at our home.
I just can’t think of one at the moment.
2 comments:
How about the first time I brought Raquel to visit and we brought our puppy and he peed, pooped and vomited in your house!! Such memories!!
The real memory from that visit was babysitting Allie. Deb was pregnant with Julia and suddenly got ill and Greg took her to the emergency room. We stayed with Allie, watched her DVDs and played. Finally, Greg and Deb returned and it was time for us to leave. Allie cried and said she was going to miss us. Raquel got so emotional that she had to go out to the truck and cry.
Looking forward to eating at your house! Please look after my daughter and son-in-law when they visit (remember - in March?) as I would like them back in one piece. Good to speak to you last night, hope this will be the first of many chats
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