Blood Squirted Out of My Eye

The flight was delayed because of mechanical problems. Because there was another flight to the same destination right after my flight, they kept letting people on the plane. Then everyone on the plane sat and waited for the last minute arrivals' luggage. My 40 minute flight took two and a half hours.

Not a huge deal, but I'm so tired to being held captive like this. But who gives a flying fart at the moon when there is no recourse for any of us? I know I'm afraid to voice my displeasure when I know a single word from a flight attendant could mean I'm off the plane explaining myself to security.

Northwest Airlines: kiss my ass.

I remained angry as I drove home on my temporary tire that now has to last until Saturday. And that's if I get an appointment and can manage the logistics.

It's not so much the inconvenience, it's the fact that the airlines have made me hate to fly. I don't mind so much the extra security. I don't mind so much waiting my turn and being courteous in the face of extreme inconvenience and crappy conditions. What bothers me is that we are no longer customers. The airlines pay lipservice to the bygone days when they worked to keep our business. But the truth is we aren't individuals who have paid for a service, we are merely cargo and cargo that is extremely fortunate to have secured a seat at that. So sit down, shut up and while you're at it, fork over $2 for some Pringles you undeserving piece of crap.

I've had enough with airports for a while. Speaking of which, have you ever tried to fart in a crowded airport? Sure, you could go to the bathroom, but you're trying to get to your flight (that you didn't know was delayed). There's no where to truly let go and if you try to sneak it out, everyone is so close you're going to get caught.

Now I'm sick. I'm sure it's not because I couldn't fart properly. I'm sure it was the massive burrito I choked down between flights.

So I'm taping the keys and it's a little louder than normal. It's because I'm mad. What's more, my family wishes I would have stayed in San Diego. And the kicker is, I have the green apple splatters.

I can't wait to get back to the office in the morning.

Oh, Boo hoo you say?

Bite me.