Thursday, February 05, 2004

Our small town has a theater company. I haven't seen any productions but I like the idea of having a local theater company. It's a lot like the local historical society or a Lutefisk Victims Memorial. I know chances are slim that I'll ever use or experience these things but I like being able to tell people that our town has them. It makes me feel smarter for having chosen our fair city as home.

The theater company is trying to buy its building located on Main Street. It's going to cost around $150,000. The company is raising funds by selling bricks to pave the front entrance of the theater. Starting at $100, you can buy a brick imprinted with a message of your choice.

I'm thinking $100 isn't too much to pay for immortality. The only problem is coming up with something to say on the brick. I have a few ideas:

-I sold my grandma's plasma to buy this brick.

-I thought I was buying a giant Milk Dud.

-They said I'd shit one of these when I found out how much it cost.

-This brick was previously used to drown kittens.

-At this rate, I'll finish the fireplace for just under $40,000.

I'm not doing too well. Please add some ideas of your own.

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