Sunday, February 15, 2004

Julia is trapped beneath the futon. She's rolling all over the place these days and today she found her way under the furniture.

I hope she's okay. Frankly, I wouldn't know. I can see her legs. They're moving. I can't hear anything though because I have the volume pumped up for a Ben Fold's song I really like (it's called Army if you're interested).

Hold on. . .

She's not screaming. In fact, if she had a ratchet in her hand I would have sworn she was making some adjustments under there. She turned and looked at me as if to say, "What the hell do you need? I'm workin' here."

I left her alone.

I left her alone for a second, that is. She's yelling and I can hear her over the music. Better move her little ass back to the middle of the room.

Third trip. Now it's officially a game.

It's just another part of a mosaic of games I play these days. Earlier I played the filth in unexpected places game. I'll refer to it as FIUP from this point forward.

Today's playing field for FIUP was the downstairs bathroom. I thought I'd start Operation Toilet Seat Swap there. Turns out it hadn't really been cleaned since we all had the flu a few weeks ago.

My first FIUP score was Allie's step stool in front of the sink. Turns out Allie did her best imitation of a lawn sprinkler when she got sick. The base of the step stool was decorated with little pink blotches of sick. I scrubbed it like Kerr-McGee did Karen Silkwood after her first plutonium exposure.

My second FIUP score was behind the bathroom door. Same material but bonus points because Allie's puke defied the laws of hydro-dynamics by landing on the floor three feet in the opposite direction her head had been pointing.

I win! A clean bathroom and I'm one step closer to the coveted 2004 FIUP Cup.

Allie got a haircut today. It's severe but she looks cute. I'll post a picture in the M&J Gallery.

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