Bon Bon tagged me.
My five obsessions:
I’m obsessed by not having enough obsessions –
I’m not trying to be cute. I honestly spend a lot of time considering the fact that I dabble in a few activities but I’m not committed enough to actually cultivate a level of expertise in anything. I know people who, in addition to their vocations, are masterful writers, photographers, cooks, etc. These people choose one or two hobbies and become really good at them. I don’t know if it’s because I’m lazy or my short attention span but I would say I’m obsessed with gathering new hobbies in the hopes of finding one that sticks.
Even numbers –
It may have something to do with a desire for symmetry. Regardless, everything I do has to end on an even number. The volume control number on the TV; the number of fruit snacks I steal from the girls; the number of times I knock on a door – they all have to be even numbers.
Keeping my kids warm –
I don’t check on them as much these days but I still sometimes wake up panicked that one of the girls is shivering in her bed. I can’t stand the thought of either of them being cold at night. This is weird because I recall last year’s genius idea of giving Allie and Julia a bath with a bottle of shampoo and the garden hose in the back yard. I didn’t seem to mind all the screaming, shivering and blue lips at that time. In this case, I guess I could classify my concern for my kids’ warmth as more of a mood than an obsession.
Winning the lottery –
This is closer to being a hobby than it is an obsession but once a month, I buy two lottery tickets. I buy one for the state drawing and a second for the much larger, multi-state affair that could mean hundreds of millions for one lucky winner. I then fantasize about what I would do with the money. After doing this for some time now, I think I’m ready to win. I’ve mentioned this fact to God so I imagine this next lottery purchase will produce the millions I’ve spent so much time considering.
Small, meaningless projects –
It seems that if there is a project that will yield no particular benefit to anyone once completed, I will throw myself into said project and not stop until I achieve desired results. Good examples of these temporary obsessions would be anything to do with a computer, retrieving cover art for iTunes, installing car stereos and assembling Ikea furniture. I can’t let go. Really. . .
Five reasons I blog:
1) To make sure that Marcia and Judy know what they’re children and grandchildren are up to.
2) It’s helps rationalize spending dough on up-to-date technology. Deb, I hate to spend this kind of money, too. But we need to go wireless so I can blog from the toilet.
3) I blog because I feel guilty about my contribution to society’s abandonment of a need for community. My blog is a response to my apathy toward building honest, meaningful, face-to-face relationships with other people. It’s a sad attempt to connect with others when the truth is I’d rather be watching Ninja Warrior and reading about Lindsay Lohan’s self-destruction on TMZ.com. YOU KIDS STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY YARD!
4) Now you wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I could type like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was ever going somewhere, I was blogging!
5) I blog so I can have a forum for telling the world how wonderful my wife is so when she reads it I'm almost guaranteed marital congress.
I'd tag someone, but I really don't know who to tag unless I tag Bon Bon back.
I wonder if Ninja Warrior is on. . .