Monday, February 26, 2007

Honey, Where is That Really Strong Magnet?

I spoke up.

I had to say something after I heard Debbie end a sentence with, "...then you can go play in the bathroom."

Tonight will be the third night in a row that Allie and Julia have spent large portions of the evening in the downstairs bathroom.

I told Debbie that there is something wrong with the fact that our daughters want to (and that we allow them to) convert our toilet into Fort Fun.

I can hear noises and the gap at the bottom of the bathroom door allows a few shadows to dance around on the floor. Those two things aren't enough clues to piece together what's happening in there. That's led to visions of Allie offering Julia a bite of the giant blue SweeTart she found in the toilet tank or games of How Long Can You Hold Your Breath While I Lower the Toilet Seat on to Your Neck? being played in that tiny little room.

No - I don't know what happens in there. I only see the aftermath. Like tonight when I had to remove all of the couch pillows from around the toilet before I could pee. And then when I went to flush the toilet it was partially clogged. I shouted upstairs, "Did either of you stick something in the toilet?" Allie shouted back, "I had a big poop."

Most of you already know that my oldest daughter shits baseballs. This is no exaggeration. She is constantly clogging our toilets with these perfectly round bocce balls of excrement. That's the only reason I took her word for it that one of her massive sphincter bombs was the obstruction. This was good. It meant the clog wasn't something for which I was going to have to create some kind of retrieval device. Happily a plunger should be enough, but I haven't tried it yet so I may be unwinding hangers and taping powerful magnets to the end of fishing rods before I go to bed tonight.

Tomorrow night I might go into the bathroom with them and see what the fuss is about. Although that might be a problem. For a normal range of motion, there's really only room for one adult; or just two small little girls.

On second thought, I'll just let them have the bathroom to themselves.


bon bon said...

dan, kerry, are you reading this? we have several fine hotels in our area...

Dan said...

I think that toilet was the one he said we were sleeping in.