Monday, June 06, 2005

Borrow Your Prophy Angle?

I took Allie to the dentist this morning.

Allie loves her dentist. Well, not her dentist. She only sees her dentist for a about five minutes each time she visits. No, it's the office, itself, she loves.

I can't say that I blame her. I might have mentioned this before, but the office has eight rows of theater seats and a super large screen TV that plays all the latest Disney films. When it comes time for Allie to actually sit in the dentist's chair they put cool sunglasses on her to shield her eyes from the harsh lights. The glasses must also help her see the tiny monitor Allie can watch while they gently remove the plaque from teeth that are going to fall out in a few months anyway.

Today Allie had a guest dentist (not that she'd notice). The plan for this appointment was to place a small wire in the roof of Allie's mouth to correct a slight cross-bite. The guest dentist called me over to explain why he didn't want to put the wire in until Allie's new molars arrive.

I walked over to Allie's chair and looked in her mouth. I didn't see her mouth because I was distracted by the tremendous number of boogers she had in her nose.

I almost gasped.

"Good God!" I said. "Can I borrow some of these tools to get that crap out of my daughter's nose?" I asked.

The guest dentist told me, "We don't do noses here. Unless they're really bad."

I wondered how much worse it would need to be before they intervened because Allie had a colony of massive green/brown asteroids growing in each nostril.

We finished her appointment without touching the build-up in her nose. No wire. Just a cleaning and a fluoride treatment. Allie walked away with a ring, a sticker, a new tooth brush and an appointment to do it all again in six months. Only next time I'll be sure to sandblast her nostrils before we go.

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