Sunday, September 17, 2017

These Headlines Just In

I don't think in complete sentences anymore. Short, meaning-charged headlines are the best I can do. If that wasn't bad enough, most of these short bursts seem a little cranky. Here are a few related to kids:
  • Local Teen's Bathroom Draws Fire from Critical Parents
  • Internet Usage Spikes as Teen Detaches from World at Large
  • Growth and Maturity Rob Area Man of Once Cuddly Babies
Here are some related to my well being:
  • Man Attributes Couch Sitting Record to YouTube Video Addiction
  • Area Man's Deadly Fart Traced to Nutritionally Bereft Eating Habits
  • Apple Watch's Inability to Produce Fitness Results Noted by Owner
I try to move beyond thinking in headlines, but it's so dull and exhausting. I never really was very patient and now I've moved beyond no patience at all. Now, I'm in a constant state of feeling like everything is keeping me from something extremely important. I don't want things immediately. I want glimpses into the future that reveal the crap I didn't even anticipate wanting is lined up and ready for me to consume. 

Notice I typed, "wanting". The things I "need" have to be almost autonomic. If anything on Maslow's hierarchy gets delayed or denied my addled, entitled brain can't comprehend the situation. 

I'm exaggerating for the purposes of entertaining myself, but I do feel. . . soft. Sometimes my outlook seems as squishy as my waistline. I'm not quite a passenger on the Axiom but I often feel like I'm just a few cheeseburgers and "8-Bit Guy" videos away from something close to it. 

I've often declared that I'm going to do something about this situation because that's what people recommend. You should make your intentions public and that will help you reach a goal. It's never worked for me and that's certainly not what this post is about. 

This post is about a list I made at work on Thursday. The list had about ten items and among things like "Clean Litter Boxes", "Pay Bills" and "Strength Training" was, "Do Something Creative". 

I'm not sure this post warrants a line through that last one - but I'm going to cross it off anyway. . . right after one more game of Disco Bees.

No comments: