I'm in a foul mood.
Tonight I went to Allie's orchestra concert and I expected that to compound my bad attitude.
I'm happy when I get to see her perform. And when she's not onstage, I get to make up stories about all the other kids I watch play. Depending on the length of the song, some of them get pretty elaborate. This evening I had one of the cellist overcoming drug addiction after he invents an ergonomic cello bow and pitches his idea on "Shark Tank". He winds up rich and alone. I see him as he plays his cello in his big, empty house trying to recapture the joy he experienced performing with his high school orchestra.
I'm happy Allie stuck with orchestra. Despite her aversion to practice, she's good and I think she enjoys playing. I know she enjoys playing for an audience.
I watch her after a show and her face is always beaming. Then she gets home and we pester her to do her homework. The excitement and the adrenaline of being onstage wanes and the beaming becomes a murder face. I know she's thinking, "Would anyone demand that Heifetz take out the trash following a performance? I will make them pay for this."
One of my favorite parts is listening to Julia after Allie has a concert. She's always there for her sister. It's not like she has a choice, but that aside, I think she genuinely wants to see her sister play. After the show Julia always compliments her sister and lets Allie know how much she rocked it.
It's toward the end of the school year so they're packing in a lot of performances. Last week we watched Julia's orchestra play and later this week we'll see her in choir. I'll be there trying very hard to make eye contact with my kid while she's onstage. I used to do it because I thought she might be nervous and I wanted to reassure her that she was going to be great. Now I just want her to know I'm happy to be there.
Happy to be there taking the crappiest pictures ever. They all look like bigfoot sightings. They're frustrating for everyone.