I'm really getting into this list thing. Here's another one that's chock full of super interesting really groovy facts all about me.
1) I like to keep my left toenail 2mm longer than the right. I also sharpen it in case I'm kidnapped and need to cut through a rope or some type of restraint.
2) I have an "off" button. I'm told it was installed after I finished second grade.
3) I have product placement in my dreams. Last night cans of Lemon Pledge kept showing up as I tried to figure out why I went to work without my pants.
4) I wrote a letter to Mallards baseball team management suggesting that instead of "Bat Night" they have "Machete Night" and then some cops came to ask me questions.
5) I'm convinced that I can throw a javelin the length of my backyard. . . with my jaw.
6) When I was a baby if my nose was cold my mother would put me in the clothes dryer for five minutes. To this day I can't get to sleep unless someone blasts me in the face with a super hot hair dryer while simultaneously smashing a metal folding chair into various parts of my body.
7) I have secretly recreated every piece of furniture in our house by hand and then destroyed the original. Debbie always asks, "What's with you?" every time she catches me smirking as I watch her put something down on an end table.
8) I'm not as picky about toilet paper as the Principal at my daughters' school thinks I am.
9) My personal Kryptonite is. . . Whoa; wouldn't you like to know.
10) I have plans to sculpt a life-size, painstakingly realistic replica of myself in Velveeta. Then I'm going set it up at various holiday gatherings with a bunch of crackers and a sign that says, "Eat me."
