Sunday, July 10, 2005

Bad Ass Grass Master II

The one on the left is the new mower. The old one (on the right) sounds like hot, metal death every time I try to get it to self-propel.

I'm the one responsible for the tiny push that sent the original Bad Ass Grass Master out to pasture (and what a well groomed pasture it will be). It was time to get a new mower anyway, but I took apart the axle to try to get both wheels to engage. The end of the axle was a lost cause and I'm sure it would have been at least another $150+ to set things right.

Did I mention a spring popped out when I examined the axle? I'm sure I said something about the awful grinding noise.

Anyway, it was my tinkering that sealed the deal.

Sometimes I get lucky. Sometimes I get hot metal death.

I've been pricing mowers for the past few weeks. I knew the local hardware store had the mower we needed at a reasonable price. I went in and checked it out. After I took a look I went to the registers to buy Allie a piece of candy. That's where I ran into the neighbor kid.

First of all, I was shocked as hell that the little kid a couple doors down is now old enough to do join me in a microeconomic exercise. Secondly, I felt bad I couldn't remember the kid's name.

He knew me, though. He asked me, "What're you out doing today?"

"Shopping for a new mower. I'm going to head into town and do a little more shopping"

"Oh yeah? Well if you come back, ask for M---. I can get you a 20% discount."

"I might do that."

I did do that. I came back and went around looking for M---. I found him, but not before the store manager found me. The store manager wanted to sell me the mower. I told him I wanted M--- and his 20% to help me (but I left out the 20% part). Finally the manager insisted that he help me. That's when I spilled the beans about the 20%.

By the time M--- showed up I was certain I was going to get the poor kid fired, or at least made an example at next week's employee meeting. So I went ahead and bought the new mower without the promised 20%.

The manager still wanted to help me. I was rude and waved him off, "M--- can take care of me." After all, he cost me my 20% and I already had a mental picture of me running him over with the new Bad Ass Grass Master.

As we loaded the mower into my car M--- apologized. "That was very unprofessional of me," he said. Poor kid. I told him I hoped I didn't get him into any hot water and he assured me I had not.

By the way, the new mower rocks. It would have rocked even more at 20% less, but that's now water under the bridge.

For the most part.

I'd still like to see what the Bad Ass Grass Master II would do to M---'s manager's shoes.

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