Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Keeping Columbus Safe

I walked down High Street in Columbus, Ohio today.

It’s nice.

There are plenty of galleries, boutiques and trendy restaurants. You can guess the name of several of these establishments. Spirits on High. Yoga on High. Art on High. I passed by a shop or a club or some type of storefront with a pair of human legs sticking out from behind a curtain. They were resting on some kind of little stage. I looked twice. They were real. They weren’t moving, but I could tell they were attached to someone.

A little further down the street there was a fetish shop. The Measure of a Man shop had two leather clad mannequins. One had a cod piece. I’ve never seen one close up. They’re really big or at least this one was. It was huge.

I almost bought it.

I ate dinner at an organic food café. I had the Dragon Bowl (dragon = spicy hoisin sauce on chicken) with plenty of steamed cruciferous vegetables. I washed it down with a carrot and orange juice cocktail they squeezed right in front of me. My system isn’t used to this kind of abuse. If the gastrointestinal gas doesn’t kill me, the lack of preservatives will.

They had a magazine rack in the place. I was going to buy something to read with my meal but I found myself trying to choose something I wanted to not only read, but be seen reading. I was too disgusted of myself to buy anything so I just watched people get their drinks from the soda machine (I know, soda doesn’t jibe with the whole organic thing but there it was).

Good thing I was stuck watching the soda machine. It helped me pay a little karmic debt by picking up an ice cube someone had dropped. I watched people walk by the cube. I tried to stop myself from picking up the cube. This wasn’t some sort of philosophical experiment. I wanted to see someone hit the deck. Finally an older lady kicked the cube and I knew Jesus was watching so I went ahead and cleared away the threat (I know, Jesus doesn’t jibe with whole karma thing but there it was).

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