The Santa I wrote about a few days ago was on the front page of our newspaper this morning.
Of course my knee-jerk reaction was, "Oh shit. Santa's a pederast." Thankfully it was a charming, feel-good story about how kind this guy is and how much time and effort he devotes to the holiday season. The article told us that before Santa was Santa he put together steel doors and even owned a liquor store.
Santa owned a liquor store.
That's a good thing. I like a Santa with some real world experience. I don't want some elf who's been cloistered in some artic hideaway his entire life. I want a Santa who's foiled a few robbery attempts with the pump shotgun he kept hidden beneath the counter.
Although I'd never want to see it, I'm comforted by the notion my Santa can beat the crap out of your Santa. Or, at the least, drink him under the table.